So once again I find myself in the awkward position of having to apologise to you, dear readers, if there are any of you out there, I think there’s about 4 in honesty. While I swore I would never apologise for what I write I never said I wouldn’t for what I didn’t, and so unprecedented, for probably the fifth time, you have my apologies for not having written for over 2 months now. It’s been a crazy two months, along with the other 10 since my graduation, which took place nearly a year ago now and having been of similar quality. Let me just say it’s been no easy ride but it’s eventually beginning to look like its on the up from here (touch wood). What follows is a somewhat abridged account of what it is like to have been a graduate. Being fresh out of University and trying to get your life going, if you’ve been following this blog you’ve probably experienced brief glimpses into my personal life outside of the comic and film worlds I normally occupy within these writings.
Just to get things started here is the short story of the long one; of breaking off from my degree and starting work, this is how it has gone for me, in the past 12 months I have had 5 jobs been fired/let go twice and unemployed collectively on two separate occasions for nearly 3 1/2 months, I have been threatened with eviction from my house as well as court action for standing my ground, as I battled a negligent landlord and an incompetent Estate agency. I’ve been subject to fines, bills and threats but at the end of the day I count my lucky stars. In particular for the people I have surrounded myself with, I couldn’t ask for people any greater nor would I want to, I will probably never be able to pay them my full gratitude but I will forever try my best. And secondly you never know what’s around the corner; recently I gave up on a dream I had harboured for neigh on 10 years but I am thankful that at least I had been given the opportunity to live it out even for the briefest of moments and for what it has lead to.
Maybe Two or Three weeks ago now I was offered the opportunity to work at my local comic book store on a part time basis and rate, a job I had dreamed off since I was maybe 14/15, ever since I thought about getting my first real job rather then delivering the local free paper for 2 pence a delivery or something. I’m not knocking that believe you me, money is money and at the end of the day I was happy, somewhat, at the time to do my job. But no sooner had I been made this offer, something I had dreamed of, I was made an offer out of the blue from a company I’d applied for over 3 months ago, for a position I had thought was over long ago, along with the 40 odd other applications I had done since January. I had swept my disappointment under the rug, put on a brave face and kept going as that’s all you can do these days. There is no definitive in the job market today and if you are sent a rejection letter take it with a sliver of pride as it is a true rarity to receive such information. I was offered an internship with Channel 5, a job within the industry I had always wanted to be a part of, it may not be the most ideal of roles but you have to start somewhere. And the possibilities, education and potential it offers is quite unmeasurable, but it was a risk. As is anything. I had been given a go at my child like dream of helping run a comic book store, something I could take control of, somewhere I could nerd out 24/7 essentially and just be myself and read whatever I liked! But as much as the the 15 year old in me rejoiced and his little heart pounded with excitement I knew, as did the adult side of me, the one I like to push way down, knew it was an unrealistic dream like it had always seemed when I was 15. I had to be smart and thoughtful of my choice, one offered a great rate, fantastic opportunity’s and the chance to excel and progress in an area within my desired field the other would make me happy and giddy at the thought of going to work. It was, and as sad as this is to say, unrealistic. The opportunity Channel 5 had presented to me was astounding and how couldn’t I take that opportunity with both hands. I know it sounds like I’m being quite selfish as anyone would likely die for the chance I had been presented, a years paid internship with Channel 5 working on creating promos and adverts for the channel, you couldn’t wish for more as somewhere to start. But that wasn’t the case I know how good such an opportunity it is but it isn’t every day you get to briefly experience your dream or what it is like to be 15 again and the excitement of that version beating with inside you once again.
But I’ve chosen to pursue the dream; to one day work in film, the one that has been a driving force for most of my life, with the intention and the hope of once again feeling that feeling again, knowing how hard I would of worked for it, knowing what I have and can sacrifice for it. And so I go onto my next chapter leaving behind my momentary childhood dream and embark into the world of television. I hope with all my heart I can feel it all again, those brief moments of realising a dream, no matter how minor it may have been.
Its a risk…
But I’m willing to take it.